Entenmann’s Chocolate Chip Cookies: Not a myth after all!

Posted in Uncategorized by johnwildman on January 8, 2009

So the best present I received during Christmas was – no lie – four boxes of Entenmann’s Chocolate Chip Cookies. Was that the “marquee” gift? No, it was not. But it was the most amazing, greatest, coolest thing ever.

Why?

Because they don’t exist anymore. Okay, obviously they do. But for the longest time I have not been able to find them. For years they were my most treasured writing fuel. The best version of the perfect treat: the chocolate chip cookie. And then they went away. No warning. No explanation. Just gone. It wasn’t like I was the only one who ever bought them. But someone within the deep, dark, diabolical bowels of Entenmann’s Inc. decided to just put the recipe away. For good. Apparently we had had enough as far as they were concerned. In fact, my wife was convinced I took the job to do the PR for the Lone Star Film Festival because the only address I found online for a factory that supposedly still made them was located in Fort Worth, Texas, where the festival made it’s home. But, alas – I could never find it.

So, yes – my wife might as well have hogtied and boxed up a freakin’ unicorn for the magical shit she pulled out of Santa’s hat. And I got enough tasty cookies to send me on a Trainspotting-type binge with my “drug” of choice. Big deal, right? Well – actually, it was. And here’s why: The Entenmann’s was the third and most personally hurtful in a series of tantalizing, tempting and taunting things of goodness that tormented me with their elusiveness throughout my life.

The first: Blueberry Hostess Pies. Oh, sure – apple is fine, and cherry is good too. But blueberry? Pure deliciousness in a perfect little guilty pleasure package of wonderfulness. I mean, the frosted sugar, flaky crust gave way to an eerily perfect balance of blueberry sweetness and tang. Every time. That was something to hang onto for a kid growing up in Indiana and Florida. I still will do a hope springs eternal glance through every gas station, quick stop, and grocery store I encounter on my travels. But they’re gone. I’m sure I’ll enjoy a Dodo, Lettuce and Tomato sandwich before I have another Blueberry Hostess Pie.

Badfinger’s Greatest Hits Vol. 1. For years, when I was a kid and just starting to get into music, I searched for Badfinger’s Greatest Hits Vol 1. Here’s what happened: I had heard “No Matter What”, “Baby Blue” and the Lennon and McCartney gift to their Apple Records mates, “Come and Get It”. and wanted me some Badfinger…uhmmm….bad. But you could only find Badfinger’s Greatest Hits Vol. 2. Volume 2?! It made no sense! How could you order tons of Vol. 2 and not a single Vol. 1? What classic British rock hating yahoo was in charge of ordering there? It wasn’t as if they were going to siphon any sales from the Skynyrd or Molly Hatchet kids. There wasn’t a single song I had heard of on that stupid thing – certainly nothing that was even close to being written by a Beatle. No matter how many trips I made to the Camelot Records store at the Sarasota Square Mall. And that WAS a trip to get to that damn thing. It just wasn’t happening. It actually wasn’t until I graduated and came to L.A. that the guitarist for Sheryl Crow’s first tour who lived downstairs in my apartment complex made a tape of each of his Badfinger LPs for me – finally ending years of hateful musical torment.

And I’ve been a loyal fan of hers ever since.

But not as great a fan as I am for that wizard I married who conjured up the Entenmann’s triple C’s.

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2 Responses

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  1. Jenny said, on April 5, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    Hi i stumbled upon your blog looking for a place to order Entenmann’s chocolate chip cookies. I’m from So. California and we have Entenman’s outlets here and I asked the clerk about the cookies and I was told that the company that used to produce these delicious cookies decided to stop making them. But they still make them on the East Coast! It’s just that the east and west coast have different bakeries as suppliers, like girl scout cookies. I actually am trying to convince a friend who lives on the east coast to ship a case to me. And i hope they will at least take similar to the ones i remember.

    • splitid said, on April 7, 2009 at 9:59 pm

      My wife found something called the “net grocer” (I believe) where you can order them – and they are exactly the perfect deliciousness of the ones you remember.


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